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Friday, January 4th, 2008
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10:19 am - back.. ??
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IM BACCCCKKK !
I recently just discovered my password for this website again. I wasn't too sure that people still wrote on here so I wasn't seriously worried about the issue on hand.
However, as we all know i was never very good at posting anything anyways.
UPDATES:
I have been living back at home since the end of summer. I was sort of living with a boyfriend for a couple months and then he ran away to WMU and that ended our relationship a month after. I am still single, however it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I don't really have the time for a relationship, not that i wouldn't make time if one came around, but i'm not going to waste what little time i do have on worrying about not having one.
I am going to school at Baker college of Jackson and i am majoring in Radiation Therapy. I failed most of my courses my first quarter back and that was purely due to the lack of motivation i found myself having, or i suppose not having. next quarter should be better. I work at the school library and i sort of hate it...a lot ! however it's an easy job that consists of me sitting at a computer helping out students and chatting/myspacing/facebooking..you know the good ole' "i'm bored" websites !
For now that is all i have to say, it's lunch time ( i am current at work ) and i'm about to run to Wendy's...
hope all is well and i'm glad i'm back !
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| Sunday, December 24th, 2006
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2:39 am
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okay so...
I haven't updated in...god knows how long. here's a few of the important things first, and then..we'll get to the little shit that only people who really care to know will read.
So i moved out of my house for no particular reason other than, i need to grow up some time. I moved in with 3 of my really good friends and it's a blast ! I need to sign up for classes, and i can't wait to start school and have a purpose. I'm still single, and I have no problem with that. I actually quite enjoy the freedom of not having someone always there to tie me down. However, I'm starting to get in that mode where I want something serious and i want to be tied down and have a commitment to someone. i've been celebate (no sex) for around 2 months now, and it's AWESOME. I'm not sure if there is anyone in my life right now that I can see myself with for a serious amount of time, but...there are a few with potential to be just that. I hope everyone is doing well, and I need to hear from some of you !! cuz it's been way too long. ie: shannon and betsy !!!
I'm out (as if i had to announce it...jk(yes that's a gay joke))
-Steve
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| Monday, October 16th, 2006
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8:27 am
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i've been thinking...This goes out to all the people that use to go to OE when i went there...so..To the Graduating Class of 06' from OE that reads my LJ..also known as Shannon and Betsy lol !!!
I want to have like...a get together for all of us. even the ones who we aren't really friends with anymore.. Set aside all the differences and just get back together and spend some quality time together. We use to be friends, which means there is something we all have in common, even if we don't care anymore. I'm going to post this on myspace and facebook as well so hopefully all the other people will see it !!
So to Shannon and betsy, here is a list of people i want to get together..comment me:
you two (DUH)
me (duh again)
Justin M
Zack G.
Joe P.
Casey G.
Sarah T.
Carly
Jennifer Platte
Lacy
Robyn
I can't think of anyone else..so if you two can..please don't hesitate.
Well let me know what you two think of this wonderful idea that'll probably end with gun shot wounds...stabbings, and brutal beatings...we should probably do this where there are no stairs...or other object that can't be harmful to ones health !! hahaha
LOVE YOU GUYS !!
-Steve
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| Monday, September 25th, 2006
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3:58 pm
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so...I feel great !!!
I just got done running/working out !!! I figured i have had a lot on my mind lately so I would run and work out to get my mind off it. If it doesn't help get shit off my mind..at least it's helping me stay healthy right ??
life is going well...There is a lot going on, though it doesn't seem like it.
I don't really know what else to say...so this entry will be small.
I smell like sweat...but i look sexy....shower time !
-Steve
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| Saturday, September 16th, 2006
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12:54 am
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can we just say..IM BACK ??
So remember when I was care free of what other people thought of me and I was who I was, because it was me? That's right...That Steve is back. I decided that...trying to be something I'm not (which i never did..but not being who i was is more like it) and I'm just going to be me for now on. It feels amazing to have someone in my life who embraces that. Not just someone, people I suppose. For the first time since I left Ovid-Elsie I'm truly myself again. I'm gay, I'm fun, I'm happy, I'm funny, and I'm in general...a great guy again. I'm back to being that in your face with the truth, good hearted, kid that i use to be.
Watching Television on a friday night cuz I work tomorrow. GVSU maybe for a Saturday night ?? Who knows. We'll see what goes on this weekend and I'll try to update this some more. I just got tired of it constantly being emo...that's going to change !
Love ya bitches !!
-Steve
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| Monday, September 4th, 2006
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1:51 am
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I need to tell someone...cuz i obviously keep missing the chance to tell him. I like him. I want to know where this is going. That's all i want to say !! that's all i want an answer to !
-Steve
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| Saturday, July 29th, 2006
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12:31 am
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I need to express myself intellectually, and do to a lack of intellectual friends being online ie: Shannon... I must look within my own intellectual integrity to write this...oh and my LJ hah.
You see, I have this friends (written about in previous entries that will go un-named in this entry)) who is among the top people i've ever met in my life. Gay, Straight, Bi it doesn't matter, Black, White...He's a top notch person that deserves to have the world handed to him. It's hard to see people like that, who care so much about other people, struggle with something.
So, cuz this is MY LJ, I'm going to finally get whatever it is i've needed to say out, because it's been on my mind for quite some time now, i just haven't had the words to get it out, and now I feel as though i do.
Life: A series of unfortunate events put there to test the will power; emotional/physical strength; integrity; beliefs; morals, and standards of a person.
Death: A single even that takes place after a person has proved that his/her will power; emotional/physical strength; integrity; beliefs; morals, and standards are strong enough to make it through life.
Seems a little unfair huh ? We spends our lives fighting for everything only to be rewarded with death. Yeah, those who believe that there is a better place we go wouldn't see a problem with that. but for us who believe we are stuck in a hole 6 feet under, it's not much of an award. I'd rather have candy, or balloons.
I mean we have these obstacles that we are suppose to overcome...and if we don't, we are stuck in a single place in our life ?
I dunno, I miss people...I miss people a lot. Some worth missing, and some I'm not so sure. Some are obviously, some aren't, and some are just damn weird.
I'm not one much for complaining about how things are going, I like to try and just..move on from it all. Learn form it as i kick it's ass. Then again, I'm a strong person...I don't take bull shit for an answer, and I don't let people walk all over me. However, what about those people who aren't so strong willed..I feel like they get overwhelmed...A LOT...and i feel like life sucks for them...
HmM, maybe I have it all wrong...and maybe thats why I'm bothered by all of this ???
what do you think ?
-Steve
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| Wednesday, July 26th, 2006
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3:13 am
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So, my favorite part about the club...
Sitting next to the big ol' speakers letting the bass shake your clothes and body..watching the people. It feels so...real, and it's something that i can actually feel and just let it be what it is without trying to analyze it.
I dunno...it's weird how i've seemed to lose control of what i feel anymore and when i think i feel something I'm told it's wrong ? I think i know what i'm feeling...it's weird !!
Anywho... on other notes:
I finally saw LBJ since he got back from Italy and he told me i looked really good. He asked me how i was doing, and for the first time I can finally honestly look at people and say "great", and it feels good. i owe part of it to Drew. For once I met a guy, that I can say it a true friend, that i can talk with and that really just wants to see me happy. I haven't met a guy who can do that without having a different motive. and I don't have a different motive. I enjoy talking to him, I enjoy spending time with him, and it's geniune. the limits have been set, and accepted and I'm glad it doesn't keep us from enjoying time together.
HmM other things...
I'm getting an apartment with Siera and her boyfriend. I'm not totally sure how i feel about it. Nothing wrong about her boyfriend and her but about getting an apartment. like im excited and i feel it's a wise decision but I don't want to end up being another struggling student to pay my bills and what not on time. Hopefully I can do it...I'm sure I can !!
HmM, so, what do you think ??
-Steve
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| Tuesday, July 25th, 2006
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9:37 pm
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steve, that made my day. for real.
i miss those days of 349584739057843895 hour conversations about crazy things, and round tables, and 'up for grabs'! we definitely celebrated our youth (& sometimes immaturity) back then...
i love you and miss you A TON A TON A TON! i will definitely give you a call soon so we can get together and catch up! i go to canada (hopefully!) in two weeks, so before then expect a ringringring from me! i'm looking forward to exchanging words & good times with you...i hpoe you're doing alright.
LOVE you byotch.
^ from Shannon
You see it's those people I miss most about moving on in life. not that i moved on from them, but we definitely grew apart...it makes a lot of things in life harder when you don't have your childhood friends right by your side to laugh with and cry with...
just a little thought of the day !!
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| Sunday, July 23rd, 2006
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9:05 pm
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First I'd like to touch on something said in someone elses LJ.
Betsy first of all good job on standing up for yourself against Jill. She's a low key bitch that thinks she has the right to talk shit about whoever she wishes just because her son died. When everyone in OE found out i was gay people were constantly talking shit about it. It's funny how all these 40 year old woman have nothing better to do with their lives but keep up no HS drama. At least the queen of gossip aka MIchelle Perrien (who so happens to be your wonderfully obese aunt) isn't talking shit about you...at least not that i've heard.
Secondly...This is stupid. I hate LJ haha the end !!!
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| Sunday, May 28th, 2006
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10:16 pm
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Remember when you were in Middle School or younger than that and everyone used to tell you that you can do and be anything you want as long as you put your mind to it ??
What a bunch of bull shit that is !!!
I've put my mind to a lot and I'm definitely not there...maybe i didn't try as hard as you're suppose to. They probably left that part out to make the saying sound good. Of course that isn't nearly as awesome as you'd think it'd be. Yeah yeah, like 1% of the population is where they want to be in life, but I'm definitely not a part of that 1%.... everything is MY fault and i can't say other wise and i wish i could say i just had bad luck and got fucked over a couple times and put in this situation. IN all reality i've had the best of luck...fucked myself over, and put myself in this situation. Which trust me, sucks way worse than having some one else put you in a situation ! Well, you know... it's not all that bad I suppose... It's summer and I get some time off of "life" in order to think about life haha. Weird isn't it how all we want is a break from life, but when we finally get it we find our selves constantly thinking about life. Suppose you can never trully get a break from life. Death is the only "break" and that isn't a break, because breaks are never perminant !!!!
Well now that I've been the ensightful little bastard that I am..I'll leave it up to the comments of the world to suggest and answer !!!
So here it is..and comment away bitches !!!
love always,
Steve
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| Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
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3:32 pm
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get this...
So you know how everyone always strives for that group of friends that they feel completely comfortable with, like, the people they can take into the bathroom at 3 in the morning and let see them ball their eyes out while they talk about what's making them cry ?? well I've finally got that. We call ourselves HIBSY....it stands for : Honkey Wonkey (Austin), Itty Bitth (Amber), Buhdunkadunk (me), Shit Fit (Kris) and Yankey Wankey (Derek). I love these guys...granted Derek is my boyfriend, so it's a given, but stfu ! haha.
Anyways...Derek is laying on the couch across the room from me right now, we are chillin' at Chad's "crib" and him and derek are still sleeping. Amber and Shawn just went to BK for some randomness... I can't get over how extremely cute Derek looks while sleeping on the couch right now. I know it's creepy and he'd hate me if he had an LJ and he read that I was saying this... I took Amber outside to smoke a cigarette and to tell her that I can't get over just how EXTREMELY happy Derek makes me. For you who aren't aware Derek and I took a "break" last week and have been struggling to get it back on track (hense the crying in the first paragraph). We talked about everything and fixed it all the other night and things are good again. It's just weird to think that I finally found a guy that feels about me the way I feel about him, and is willing to express that to other people as well as me. he's just downright now questions ask AMAZING !!
Things in life are good right now...though I'm not 100% that i'm going to graduate on time. I may end up taking some summer classes for a credit or two so that I can graduate. I know it's SHITTY like whoah, but I fucked up and I will have to pay the price. I'm promising myself that I won't miss anymore school and that I will work my fucking ass off to do everything I can to pass my classes and graduate on time. I have huge aspirations but none of them can happen if I can't even handle passing high school. So wish me luck people cuz Steve is turning into a fucking book worm loser who only works and goes to school.
p.s. I've been drunk for the past week and my body is going through withdrawals !!!!
p.s.s. I miss my cousin Rachel ! hehehe
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| Sunday, April 9th, 2006
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5:00 pm
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so in recent LJ's Prom has been the most talked about subject.
Of course I'm going to go with what everyone else is talking about, because who cares about the other shit.
I'm not going to prom, A: because it's expensive, B: my class if filled with a bunch of ass holes. I have this plan of sitting at home watching movies or something like that instead. I think I just want to spend it by myself. It'd be a good day to really realize that I have a short time till I'm done with High School and that, I am going to be forced into growing up. Not that I'm greatly immature or anything, It's just...I don't do all that adult stuff like paying my own bills and basically basic graduating stuff. It kind of scares me to tell you the truth...I really wish I was at OE to graduate with all of my old friends...that would be Ideal ! I miss them a bunch and I think graduation is mostly going to be hard because I know they are doing the same thing and we can be there together for all the memorable flashbacks and pictures that we'd have and take.
I don't really kno wwhat else to say so I'm going to go ahead and peace-duh-fuck out..haha
Love you all,
Steven
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| Friday, March 24th, 2006
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3:34 pm
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I haven't been home in 3 days, and it's nice...I won't be home till Sunday. I'm so in the mood of moving out which is hopefully happening in oh say about 2 months ??
Tonight I'm going to Necto. It should be a good time, and hopefully there won't be any drama to ruin it ! I'm listening to the soundtrack of Camp, or I was, it just switched to Lauren Hill but anywho...I love the movie Camp and the soundtrack is amazing just cuz it's kids who are my age who are amazingly talented. I wish I had a voice like that ! OH HAPPY DAYYYYYY, god this bitch can sing ! anyways, I just wanted to update for a little bit. I haven't really kept up just cuz I haven't been online in forever and when I am it's fo like 3 seconds !
love ya,
Steve
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| Monday, March 20th, 2006
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10:22 pm
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just and update...
A lot of things have happened lately. A lot of Drama has happened.
A lot of wonderful things have happened in the last month or so...
I have the most amazing boyfriend ever and I can't see myself without him. I love him to death and I can't wait for this summer when we move in together. He's talking about Chad moving in with us and i think that'd be cool with me, Chad is a great guy and he is responsible.
I graduate in under 2 months, and that scares me a little. I'm just going to head off to LCC probably..not sure if it'll be for my first year or just my first semester. We'll have to wait and see how that goes. I got a job at Hollister Co. and I can't wait to start working. It's about damn time i have a job and I'll finally be making some money ! But back to Derek..
There aren't words that can describe how i feel about him. He brightens up my bad days, and just makes me feel great about myself. We openly communicate with one another, and that's essential. We've hung out nearly everyday since we started dating and I love it ! I don't think I'm spending too much time with him, because I don't get annoyed with his mannerisms and usually I do when i spend a lot of time with someone. He's just amazing in every way possible and I wish all of you could meet him.
anywho I'm going to go to bed cuz I'm about to pass out.
Love you all,
Steve
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| Monday, February 13th, 2006
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8:07 pm
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So im sitting here...watching the Olympics..missing my boyfriend like WHOAH.
this weekend was fun, and I realized how happy i am though. A lot of things are going good right now, and I'm extremely happy that a couple people are coming back into my life.
I really missed having Alex there to talk to and laugh with...and lately i've seen him a lot and it's so much fun !
I'm a little sick right now, but trying to feel better for tomorrow.
Derek has planned everything and he hasn't told me about any of it, cept that we are going to X-Cel later in the night...
So im WAY excited for tomorrow...and this weekend will be fun too !! well my mom just got here with my poster board so I gotta go do my project
love you all !!
-Steve
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| Sunday, January 29th, 2006
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9:53 pm
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So I've been kind of busy lately. Not so much busy as just, not around. I've had time to do the things I want, infact the reasons i haven't been around are because I'm doing the things I want to do, but I feel like things are just hectic right not. As much time as i really do spend at home, I still feel like I'm never here, and I feel like my parents hate me for it. When i am home, I'm not really home, cuz I just sit in my room watching TV, talking on the phone or chatting online. I don't really spend too much time with the rents' probably because everytime I do spend time with them, we argue or something happens where one of us ends up mad.
Yes, the rumor is true...Steven does have a new boyfriend. He's pretty kick ass actually, and a total sweetheart. It actually feels like a relationship too cuz we aren't ALWAYS just smiling and giggling with each other. Which brings me to my next point. I was sitting in bed last night thinking about my past relationships, and mostly the one i had with micah, and I was thinking about how lame of a relationship it really was, because our emotional states never changed with one another. We never really argued or fought or anything it was always just the same content mood and I think that's what drove the relationship to end. But whatever... So yes The new boys name is Lee and I actually like him and all that good stuff. It kind of sucks though cuz I haven't really gotten to see him this past week and what little i have it has been with friends around. Last night really meant a lot to me though that he left his friends just to drive with me for an hour to take some friends home... I thought it was cool that he was willing to do that even though it was only going to be for an hour ! and how the other day when he was suppose to meet me at the mall and ended up having to take his mom to the doctors and he still showed up even though his mom only wanted him to stay for 30 minutes... it was cool that he still came. I like that he does the little stuff..
I've been talking to Jon a lot lately again and I really think the relationship him and I have is pretty kick ass. I don't know too many other guys who could call up their ex and talk to them about boy troubles and really get genuine and helpful advice on what to do. I really appreciate that I can, and it says a lot about him.
Anyways thought I'd update while I waited for my phone call.
This Week
A whole lot of nothingness...Mom's b-day is Tuesday
my b-day is in one more monday...
"This ain't no bbq...Get on out of my grill"
" Bitch I'll hang you like the nigga you are!"
^ quotes from last nights drunken affairs
SORRY I DIDNT MAKE IT OUT TO THE CLUB !!!
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| Friday, January 6th, 2006
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11:18 pm
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So yeah, i dunno...shitty day today i guess.
seems to be the curse of fridays today, because it seems like everyone had a bad day. Especially cuz it didn't seem like a friday.
it didn't start off sucky. infact based on my text messages i thought today was going to be a great day...then once my mom got home it went down hill. Whatever stupid cunt !! anyways i'm done updating !
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| Monday, January 2nd, 2006
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1:12 am
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I just saw the funniest picture of my entire life....I laughed for like 5 minutes ...HAHAHAHAH im still laughing !....
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| Sunday, January 1st, 2006
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5:04 am - a little recap of the year..of my own: Month by Month !
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2005 gone...2006 here
so here is what happened in 2005...
-January-
Started hanging out with all the gays of East Lansing
Relationship with Jon started getting hardcore rocky.... it happens
Realized...life isn't so great with my friends from OE
-February-
Turned 17...met Alex...had sex with some random guy that i liked (one of the many)
Nothing that spectacular really happened...
-March-
Again March was a lame month ! lol
-April-
Oh this was filled with TONS of fun haha
Got towed while in East Lansing with matt b. and patrick...yeah talk about a low point of the night....FUCKING PISS SHIT !
Went on spring break to Gulf Shores...lame, but got a hot tan !! thats right bitches !!
-May-
all my friends graduated...decided to make new ones !!
-June-
Rocky Month...I quit my job. cuz the bosses were bitch asses. UmM lets see...OH this was the month that i drank for the first time and got drunk... all at jays. that was an interesting night !
-July-
Got drunk with Jon....on the 4th, and i don't wanna talk about it... also the month Jon decided he liked rob ! again, don't wanna talk about it
-August-
went back to school for my senior fucking year !!!
-September-
again, nothing great
October-
met micah...started a great relationship
Stopped talking to micah...ended a great relationship
November-
had a great month...all with micah...blah
December-
got cheated on, my heart broken, and realized i didnt' need the dumb shit in the first place
had a lame ass new years eve party but my friends were nice about it...MORE PPL WERE SUPPOSE TO COME !!
I love all of you, and I can't wait for 2006 when we grow up and move on....
you've gotten me through thick and thin and i can't wait for the thin to get thick again !!
LOVE YOU A TON !
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